TRAPS TO AVOID

Two kids,  Sam and Susie  (and their families) who messed up the process.

Presented here are two successful fictitious students who did not do well in the admissions game. Over the past two or three years we have seen several students fall into these two general situations.


  SAM

Sam is a busy, conscientious guy. His activities are diverse, he is a good athlete and a good student. All through junior year he meant to think about college, but a long paper was due one weekend, the newspaper he worked on had deadlines, SAT tests got a couple of weekends and so did swim meets. No worries, Sam told himself, I'll think about college over the summer.

But summer was filled with swim practice, water polo and a life-guarding job. Add in a course at the community college and time with friends and the summer evaporated.

Fall water polo, teachers who piled on the homework in September, another weekend of SAT tests, then… before Sam or his parents could quite believe it, application deadlines approached and the questions overwhelmed him and the family:

  • Where should I apply?
  • Big schools, little schools?
  • Urban, rural?
  • Public, private?
  • East coast, west coast, north, south?
  • What do I want to study?

The family became tense – among themselves and with each other.

Faced with adversity, Sam did what he does best: he worked hard. He applied to schools in the east, the west, north and south, big schools and little schools, public and private, rural and urban, selective colleges, easier colleges, he applied everywhere! Sam became an application machine.

Exhausted from a two month marathon of applications, he understandably took time off from the process.

Then his real problems arrived.  HE GOT IN!  Schools in the east and west, north and south, big and little, urban and rural, public and private, academically selective schools and good schools with less demand and rigor… many said YES!

Sam (and his family) entered a misery most people seemingly would love to have, but they were not equipped to handle.

He had three weeks to decide what college to go to and send in a housing deposit. The problem was not what school to go to; the real issues were: Who am I? What do I want? Three weeks to answer the identity questions was inadequate and crazy-making, even for dutiful Sam.


AMES SEMINARS ADVICE:

In our attainment, goal oriented world, we help create kids who are not ready for the most important aspect of the college process: self reflection. Many students have little experience with thinking about themselves and don't know how to start, so they don't start. They are well trained to attain, to do, to act, but not to ponder.

Many, many problems can be avoided by starting early. No matter how busy you are (kids and parents), visit colleges, not only to see the schools, but to stimulate introspection.

These basic questions cannot be answered over a weekend:

  • How do I learn?
  • How far away do I want to go?
  • How hard do I want to work?
  • What activities do I want to get involved in?
  • What weather factors matter?
  • Five to ten years from now, what college experience would have been best?
  • In general, what am I likely to be doing in five or ten years?

VISITS:
For many kids it is easier to schedule a college visit than it is to turn off the computer, put on calm music and to make the time to think about their future. Visits can be important catalysts to self reflection. When students like or don't like some aspect of a college, this says as much about the student as it does about the college. Plan to visit schools and ask yourself the basic questions.

Note: If you can't get to colleges that you may be interested in, visit different types of local colleges. If you live in the San Francisco Bay Area, an amazing number of different types of schools are within two hours.

More things to get you going:

 


  SUSIE

Susie deserved better.

A great student, she worked hard, put off fun times to take AP and honors classes. She expected to be rewarded, but ended feeling like a failure.

What happened? Susie appropriately felt she deserved to go to a selective and academic college. She had worked hard, she had the numbers: GPA and SAT. She did the application game thoroughly: she wrote good essays, contacted admissions, had interviews; in her words: I did the whole dang thing.

Here is the subtle trap she fell into: Her entire attention was on very selective schools and, given her record, she had no certainty of acceptance. When she looked at the numbers in the guide books (the middle fifty percent on SATs) she looked good. She did not realize that several aspects that were out of her control were going to get her. For example, some of the schools she was interested in were schools several of her most successful classmates also applied to. They not only had equal or slightly superior academic records, they had a ticket. They had that one thing, sometimes called tip factors (art, running ability, published poetry, mastery of the oboe, parents who attended and, yes, gave money), that often decides the balance at the most competitive schools. Selective schools often decide in relation to others applying from the same school, so Susie was out.

Susie and her family did not realize how competitive college admissions at selective schools have TRULY become. While she did not fall into the really stupid trap of only applying to selective schools, she did not research, visit, and become interested in the schools she WOULD get into. She did not have a realistic probable list. So she ended up at a school she had not gotten to know or thought about, so she thought she had lost.


AMES SEMINARS ADVICE:

We are in weird times. One does not have to be applying to hyper selective schools to be, like Susie, in a gray zone. Almost all kids are in some gray zone of uncertainty. The trick is to apply to schools wisely: to find and know and LIKE schools where you PROBABLY WILL get in and WILL get in. Absolutely, follow your dream, go for that one school you dreamt about when you were 10, but be smart and get to know the schools where you definitely will get in and you could love. These competitive times insist on this type of planning.

Two or three reach schools, four probable schools, and two for certain schools has been a winning formula for a long time!

We live in the midst of abundance: THERE ARE MANY SCHOOLS WHERE KIDS CAN BE HAPPY AND FLOURISH. We need to help ourselves (and our kids) to experience this abundance.

When you research schools, be sure to find and look at any acceptance information, the real data; look for the freshman profile.

The University of California publishes in depth information in their booklet University of California, Introducing the University. The summary for each UC campus is reproduced in our Freshman Admission Profiles section.

See: University of California and the Cal State Universities

PRIVATE COLLEGES:
Private colleges vary tremendously in the amount of information they produce. Many colleges provide a page of information on their web site; often called the freshman profile they are usually accessed through the admissions area of the web site.

See: Sample profiles of several private schools in the Admission and Applications section of our College Connection page.



Bill Ames — Ames Seminars